Relationships are a beautiful yet emotionally complex aspect of human life, and even the strongest couples face challenges. When communication breaks down, trust is broken, or external stressors take their toll, couples therapy can be a powerful tool for healing and growth.
What kind of issues can couples seek therapy for?
The issues for which partners may seek therapy will drastically differ from couple to couple, however, these are some of the most common problems addressed in therapy;
Communication issues
Trust issues and infidelity
Conflicts related to finances, parenting, or intimacy
Dealing with external stressors (e.g., work, family)
Relationship transitions (like moving in together, getting married, or expecting a child)
Life transitions (such as getting a new job, moving to a new city, or starting a degree)
Distant or resentful feelings
What will couples therapy sessions look like?
Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy (CBT) for couples is based on the idea that thoughts, feelings, and behaviors interact and influence relationship functioning. CBT helps couples identify and change unhelpful thoughts and behavior patterns. Couples learn skills in communication, problem-solving, and conflict management while modifying dysfunctional beliefs that contribute to distress.
CBT for couples often incorporates elements of behavioural approaches such as Behavioural Couples Therapy, which uses techniques like behavioural exchange and contracting to promote positive interactions.
We usually suggest a 12-week plan for couples. This is a mixture of individual sessions and sessions together - we believe this balance gives both partners the opportunity to explore their own personal mental health, as well as the sessions together to discuss how this, in turn, affects the couple dynamic. It is so important to remember you are not only a couple with needs, but you are also two individual people, with individual needs of your own.
Pros to couples therapy
Gain a deeper understanding of your relationship dynamic
Impartial guidance
Create a safe space for you and your partner
Begin to see each other’s perspectives
Resolve relationship roadblocks
Learn strategic and effective coping skills
Clarify your feelings about the relationship
Restore trust
Deepen your intimacy and connection with your partner
Improve communication skills
Work on your own self-awareness and personal growth
Cons to couples therapy
While there are many clear benefits to couples therapy, there are also negatives. You have to weigh the pros and cons to decide if it’s right for you.
If both parties aren’t onboard, it’s not going to work
Both partners have to be in agreement that therapy is a good choice and something they both want to do. If one is more resistant, or unwilling to apply the effort to the process, and in turn the relationship, it wont work.
It’s costly
Therapy isn't cheap, and most of the time you will be footing the bill for couples therapy from your own pocket. Therefore, if you aren't fully committed to the sessions it can drain your savings quickly, with no positive effect.
It’s may be too late to save the relationship
Even though any individual starting couples therapy may have the best hope and intentions for the repair of their relationship, it is important to understand that it may just be either too late to save it, or there are issues to big, or differences in beliefs and values too contrasting to sustain the relationship any further. This isn't a reason NOT to attend therapy, but it must always be something to stay mindful about. Sometimes as the individual partners explore there own issues and engage in personal growth, it becomes apparent to them they that are just not happy in that relationship, and it will ultimately end anyway.
You have unrealistic expectations
Attending couples therapy isn't a quick fix. There will be no miraculous change after one or two sessions, and certainly not without the full, and cooperating effort of both individuals. Change takes time, and especially if there are rigid thinking patterns, or negative behaviours involved in the relationship - these will not be corrected overnight.